On Trick or Treat

I was never really a fan of Halloween until a few years ago. I’m not sure what changed, but now I love decorating and growing my Halloween village. I still hate scary movies and I still don’t like dressing in costumes, but I do enjoy Trick or Treat and seeing all the kids in their cute/scary/weird/wtf costumes. With Halloween only a few days away, I have some thoughts.

I don’t remember much about trick or treating as a kid. I know I went most years and I usually went with a friend and my sisters. My mom always took us because our hometown’s trick or treat was always the Saturday before Halloween from 2pm to 4pm and my dad was always at work. We always went in the same neighborhood – our street and then a cul de sac neighborhood behind us. Then of course we would swing by and visit Papa for a large treat bag. We’d also visit Grandma for a special treat bag and sometimes run up and down her street if there was still time. 

Because of this setup, there was never anyone to stay at our house and pass out candy. My mom usually left out a bowl with a note to please take one or two. Some years we came home to a bowl nearly full. Some years we came home to a bowl completely empty, likely dumped by a greedy kid. (Remember, these were the years before Ring cameras). Luckily, in my family, my wife and I get to stay home and pass out candy while our son heads out with his grandfather. This means we get to control the flow of candy.

We live in a small town. A no gas station, no grocery store, no red lights, kind of small town. Our local high school is situated between two towns. Between those two towns, two other feeder areas, plus open enrollment, each grade averages about 100 kids. Small. Town. Additionally, we are a safe town. Crime is low. We can leave cars unlocked. Kids can roam around unsupervised and untracked. Yes, we have our occasional issue, but overall, we are a safe place to raise a family. Because of this, every year for trick or treat we are inundated with kids from other parts of the area. Some kids come because they live in rural areas with a mile between each other. Many kids come because their neighborhoods are not safe. They can’t play outside without adult supervision. They’ve grown up with double locks on the front doors, fences around the entire yard, and bars on windows. They can identify guns based on the shot. Would you want to trick or treat in a neighborhood like that? I sure wouldn’t.

So when kids come to our door on Halloween and say “trick or treat,” I don’t ask them where they live. I don’t ask them where they go to school. I don’t ask them why they’re on my doorstep, do they “belong” here? I say, “here ya go” and chuck a few milky ways in their bag. Do I question their costume? Nope. If they show up in regular clothes and hold out a pillowcase, they get some candy. If they show up totally decked out in makeup and masks and props, they get some candy. If they look a little too old to be out trick or treating, they get some candy. If they’re still a baby with no teeth and the parent holds out the bag, they get some candy. The last few years, we’ve participated in the Teal Pumpkin Project and offered non-candy, allergy friendly treats to kids. This year, we even added a box of milkbones so the pups can get a little treat too. 

I’ve seen too many people trying to “police” trick or treat. People complaining about the number of kids they get or the age of kids or the lack of costumes. There’s always a few complainers every year, but it seems particularly bad this year. Even the time of trick or treat is being hotly debated. “Back in my day” people are demanding our village change the hours back to evening. They say trick or treating in the daylight defeats the purpose. I grew up trick or treating in the daylight and I enjoyed it. I’ve experienced a few years of nighttime trick or treat and… it’s fine, I guess? But once it’s dark, it’s hard to see the costumes. It’s dangerous for drivers and it’s hard to navigate around yards that have a lot of decorations.

Participating in the tradition of trick or treat is 100% voluntary for everyone. For people to go door to door, for people to hand out candy, for everyone, it is voluntary. If you don’t want to participate, don’t answer your door. Put out a sign that says “no candy.” Go out of town for the few hours of trick or treat. It’s not that difficult. But stop trying to dictate who can and can’t participate and under what circumstances. I always say “more inclusivity can never hurt” and I mean it. Stop trying to exclude people from activities they enjoy. Life is too short for that nonsense.